| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|01:36 am] |
Ah, bollocks. This is not what I want it to be any more.
This journal is turning voyeuristic, as of now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|01:59 pm] |
Goddam. I should have stayed awake... those 2 hours sleep messed me up. If only I hadn't left the pills on the coffee table. I could really do with a half.
Still, my liquid lunch was nice. |
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| Naughtiness |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|11:22 am] |
Well.
I spent last night in a fetish club.
It was... an eye opener.
I went with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lady_fliss, who I think you should probably look to for details. I'm not entirely sure what I should and should not say, but be aware that I was disappointingly well-behaved, whereas she was very naughty.
I'm not entirely certain how I've made it to work... I was up very late indeed and there was a most enjoyable finish to a most enoyable night.
In other news, I'm in a very daft mood and have decided to sod protocol and wear my trilby in the office. People here thinks I'm nuts, and they're bloody right.
UPDATE: Oh, and when I walked into the office this morning, my colleague Jane pointed out that I still had makeup on. Oops. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|11:42 pm] |
I've just bought a book, on the strength of this
Look up other quotes from this guy, and you'll see why. |
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| ATTENTION! |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|01:31 am] |
Please see this, then look at this (NSFW), then, THIS!
Join in... this got pretty big last year! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|01:17 am] |
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I nearly had them.... they showed some intelligence. One or two, they stood above the rest and proved themselves. But there were too many. I could do nothing. It was so sad. |
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| Bother... |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|11:25 pm] |
I have to do some wrapping before I hit the sack.
Poo. |
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| Superb! |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|02:46 pm] |
This gem has just been spotted on our online staff noticeboard:
"WANTED: 30 bearded men and Zepplin for elaborate pratcical joke. No time wasters." |
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| It's nearly Christmas! |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|10:00 am] |
A sedate weekend, really...
FRIDAY
I spent most of the evening in, enjoying fine music and enormous spliffs, until I got a call from my old buddy Jewboy. He'd had an argument with his girlfriend and had stomped off down to his local to drink alone, and drink he most certainly had. He was in high spirits, however, but as he was in Highbury I could hardly pop out and join him. I did the next best thing... I went to my local alone and had a beer, chatting to him on the phone.
I couldn't hang around for long though, as being stoned off your block in a pub is a mighty worrisome experience when you are set upon by a group of shrieking, drunk, flirtatios 40-somethings who won't stop pinching your bum.
SATURDAY
Worked in the daytime. Afterwards, my cousin Danny came over, with guitar. We joyously discovered that contrary to popular belief, you CAN start a song in Bmaj7 without having to go to Em, and put together an astonishing wee riff. We then continued to get right royally stoned and have a jolly nice evening, including some creative writing; the spoils of which can be seen in my previous post.
SUNDAY
Tom and I stuck our noses into The Wheatsheaf and had a glorious impromptu-just-the-two-of-us Christmas dinner, with crackers and paper hats and everything. Navy-boy Boote came down to join us and I drank a few pints with him and headed home.
How... chilled. Still, this is Christmas week, there are people to see, drinks to imbibe, drugs to abuse and this year, an American lightweight to train into drinking godliness.
I may even be getting hold of some acid soon, too. |
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| Danny's been encouraging me. Here's a "joint" effort. |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|12:49 am] |
Story Time!
===========
Once upon a time there was a giant egg called Martin. He lived with his children in a parking space, located under a shoe. He sold pies for a living, and if the mood took him, he he happily shaved his banana.
"There's something cold on my feet!" he said.
No one answered; he was all alone. From nowhere, a car salesman appeared and gave him a bucket of sausages. This startled him somewhat, so he hid underneath a penninsula. Lubricating his whereabouts and finding them none to blotted or geared, he laughed at the sausages and flung them at his feet.
"I rule you now!" he bellowed, and the sausages shuddered.
All but a figment of his imagination... but to our mind the sausages won the silver-clad battle. The bean stalk put an ear to the proceedings of the acquittal of the three cheese muffins. "Open your mind." said the overlooking spyglass, which a pig wore deceivingly well for some time to come. Manic depressant love-lost lovers talk in the wings of a small sea-bird named Steve, the parapligic puffin. Mr. Egg a.k.a. Martin had the feeling of cold on him again... gasping for air his scrotum shrivelled to the shape of a walnut. Fire then calmed the situation of marrying in the place of work, or whereabouts. Please ask yourself that you can be a fish or a bird if your dreams catch the handouts and you put money in your eyes instead of the big open hole that sometimes holidays in the cold dark mountins of tree-tops.
This is the habitat of the terra-lupin-borg killer coconuts of doom. Beware, as you tread on a pilot, or an unwashed tray, he is THERE! Beware as you think of saying "joinery" too much... HE IS THERE!
I approached the temple from the left, as one does on such occasions, and stabled my jet-ski in the visitor's custard. Looking up at it, I was reminded of Betty, in a way only a centipide would know. Before I knew it the earth was jumping around like a love-sick vagabond. Lord knows what happened next, but suddenly I'm aboard a pirate ship manned by glowing hamsters, dammit.
EDIT: I've updated the grammar and spelling... and punctation. God, we were stoned. |
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| See, Tom? |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|09:42 pm] |
 and introducing 
Ben says:
shaving
the fuzz? yes... about time you cut your boob-hair.
emma is super awesome says:
haha
emma is super awesome says:
my
boob hair is awesome
Ben says:
it's
disgusting, honestly. people STARE and you and point.
emma is super awesome says:
they
like it really
Ben says:
breast
afros? you are mistaken.
Ben says:
fizzle
and pop
emma is super awesome says:
really?
Ben says:
hell
fucking yeah
Ben says:
wanton
bubble?
Ben says:
telescopic
weekend!
Ben says:
and
that's only the start...
emma is super awesome says:
uh
oh
Ben says:
i
wrote you a story
emma is super awesome says:
really?
Ben says:
yep.
emma is super awesome says:
can
i read it?
Ben sends:
Suddenly, everything turned purple.
"Blimey." said Mr Goat, wondering where the light switch was.
"I'll say!" said his elephant "How are we going to get out of this?"
Mr Goat pondered a moment, then formed a carrot from thin air. It was orange. The world
creaked on its gears and without it never actually happening, turned full colour. They both
heaved a sigh and sat down on their beaver chairs. Mr Goat looked up at a passing flock of
ray-bans and thought about the winter of 1814.
"The bastard!" he yodelled, leaping a hundred feet into the air and coming to rest on a
cloud.
"What?" turnpiked his elephant, rearing to its full height, towering above the lawn.
No one ever found out who they were, but for years afterward, the river always flowed
purple in March.
Transfer of "purple.txt" is
complete.
Ben says:
it's
only a short one
emma is super awesome says:
it
is beautiful
Ben says:
it's
purple
emma is super awesome says:
it
is
Ben says:
so
am i
emma is super awesome says:
i
bet you are
Ben says:
are
you purple?
Ben says:
ARE
YOU?
emma is super awesome says:
I
AM
Ben says:
do
you eat people?
Ben says:
WELL?
emma is super awesome says:
yes,
and I seem to have lost an eye
Ben says:
i'm
so glad you said that
Ben says:
I'd
only remembered as much as "purple people-eater" i knew there was
something before that. bloody marijuana.
emma is super awesome says:
one
eyed
emma is super awesome says:
one
horned
emma is super awesome says:
flying
emma is super awesome says:
puple
people eater
emma is super awesome says:
one
eyed
one
horned
flying
puple
people eater
Ben says:
this
conversation is so saved
emma is super awesome says:
sure
looks strange to me "purple people?"
emma is super awesome says:
well
he came down to earth and he lived in a tree
emma is super awesome says:
I
said Mister purple people eater dont eat me
emma is super awesome says:
I
heard him say in a voice so gruff...
emma is super awesome says:
"I
wouldnt eat you cause your so tough"
emma is super awesome says:
he
was a one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater
emma is super awesome says:
etc..
Ben says:
*enormous
applause*
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| A break from the debauchery... |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|02:55 pm] |
I find myself filled with distaste and loathing for my surroundings. This is something I have become skilled a repressing, but now that the end is in sight I find it leaping to the forefront of my thoughts.
What is it about this town? It really isn't all that bad, as much as I insult it, and it is filled with the people closest to me, but it angers me so. The people I have around me are affected too, unknowingly. I am sure each and every one of them would come a little more to life given better surroundings.
I find myself sitting in the same tired places, going through the same damned and damning motions, fighting an urge to scream "FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF THIS! I'M LEAVING!" more because I am not quite ready to go than because I don't want to exclaim.
I don't want to go get drunk at x on this day and y on this day anymore. I don't want to repeat my week over and over. "Do something different, then!" I hear you cry. But what? There is nothing to offer. The whole town repeats and replicates itself over and over. Nothing new, nothing interesting or entertaining ever really transpires, and the little that does is trodden down by the Grey Army and the No-Lifers. And who with? No-one seems to have any real desire to break the mould, although they claim to have such desire.
The light at the end of this tunnel is starting to get a little larger, and of that I'm deeply glad. My destination makes me physically more relaxed and free the moment I set foot in it. So I'm going alone... this isn't the first time, however; this is a return. And more than any of that, it's a chance and an opportunity to finally make the changes within myself I have been pining for in the back of my mind for so long.
Freedom, expansion, tranquility. |
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| Thank fuck |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|06:42 pm] |
After an approximate total of six hours work, I have finally fixed my PC.
I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms! |
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| Bugger |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|04:05 pm] |
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My home machine is currently a little screwed... don't expect much in the update department. |
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| Praise the lord |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|12:00 am] |
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I am a happy man... tommypop has just informed me that he succefully bid for a copy of Street Fighter II Turbo on the SNES. You have no understanding of the joy I feel right now. |
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| These crazy ladies.... |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|12:14 pm] |
Another gem of a message, again from a stranger...
SUBJECT: looking for santa to come down my chimney
FROM: fastnfirey67
MESSAGE:
as a kid I've always had a fantasy as to what I'd do if I ever caught santa coming down my chimney..... I always wondered how excited I would be but kind of in a fetish way, it's weird I know... do you have a santa suit?
===============
You have to laugh. Takes me back, though... I once had sex with a girl dressed as a sexy santa. On Christmas Eve. At a Christmas party. That's pretty Christmassy, in my book. |
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| From moshing to munching |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|08:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
My body hurts.
Stonking band last night at the Toad, and at the enticement of Stif Belter (name changed to protect his identity) we all ended up dancing our merry little socks off. Suzy and I even improvised a joyous dance piece involving scarves, of all things.
Sam was on form as a DJ, whacking out some favourites of mine (Baseball Cap by Faithless, some J5, some Propellorheads)
I had to prove my ability to do the "snake" dance move, and succeeded (thankfully) to impress.
What else happened? Moshing. There we were dancing merrily away when the incredibly good looking girlfriend of one of the band members started lunging happily into us. Not to be outdone, we lunged her back and soon had some enthusiastic moshing going on with everyone.
Afterwards, Joster invited me back to his place, and there we sat until 3:30am, drinking beer, smoking joints, talking bullshit and eating toast. I have to be up for my train at 6am, hence my pain this morning.
Actually, that's a lie, we didn't talk all bullshit. We actually came up with rather an interesting idea for a theatre production, and not only that; I can remember what it was! |
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| How bizzare... |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|06:10 pm] |
A message I recieved from a personals website I'm a member of, from a woman I have never spoken to before:
"what would you rather hear me do? let out a big meow or hear me purr? It's up to you on what I do, both can be good or if I let out a BIG MEOW it could be bad, depends on how you look at it? I'm ready for someone to pet me and find out! Do you like cats?"
Sorry, but I'm allergic, my dear. |
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